SMOG'S ACID REIGN:

A One-Act Play

Note: This is one of the first things I ever wrote.

SCENE 1:

(Organ Music: Harvey and Martha are in their living room)

Martha (seated, looking up from videovision): Where are you going, Harvey?

Harvey (putting on protective suit): I'm going to the store.

Martha (gasps): But you know the smog's starting to settle in.

Harvey (look of grim determination): I'm out of cigarettes. I'm going to risk it.

Martha (desperate): Oh, don't go, Harvey, don't go!

Harvey (about to exit via airlock): But I must!

Martha (weeping): Did you at least put a fresh canister in your breather mask?

Harvey nods and leaves.

SCENE 2:

Harvey walks in the store via airlock.

Harvey (walking up to counter): That's what I like about you, Ed, (coughs) you keep your store open in spite of the smog.

Ed (grinning): Yeah, someone's always gotta risk their life to run to the store for an emergency. Mostly cigarettes or beer.

Harvey (shaking head): Almost got stuck in a garbage heap on the way. Then when I got out of the car, three mega-rats chased me down the alley.

Ed (shaking head in sympathy): Sure glad you got here okay, Harvey. What'll you have?

Harvey: My Death Smokes.

Ed: Alright, here y'are, one pack of Death Smokes. That'll be $43.80.

Harvey (surprised): Price up again? Good God!

Ed (holds out hands plaintively): It's that new building tax. Trying to get more money to seal up more of the old buildings before the smog dissolves 'em.

Harvey (pointing in dismay and exclaiming): Oh, no, look outside! It's raining!

Ed: It's okay, Harve, stick around until it's done. Y'don't wanna get acid burns, ya know.

Harvey: It's not that, Ed! It's my car! I didn't put up its portable garage when I parked it!

Ed: That's a shame, Harve. What's your deductible on your acid rain insurance?

Harvey (groaning): They cancelled it last month because I let three cars dissolve last year.

Ed (nods head towards window): Look, Harvey, the rain's stopped already! Maybe your car's not destroyed yet!

(Harvey dashes out the door)

SCENE 3:

(Back in Harvey and Martha's living room)

Martha (crying): I'm so glad you're back safe, Harvey.

Harvey (glum and brooding): Yeah, but I wasn't in time to save the car. I think the rain's getting worse; it used to take at least an hour to dissolve the car.

Martha (wiping away her tears): Or maybe they're just building the cars cheaper. I dropped my keys on the fender the other day and it cracked. But Harvey, as long as I have you, I don't care. You're worth a million cars to me.